Fake!

I sit down, and the service begins.
Great music. I love the music in our church.
Granted it's not for everybody.
I know - bass guitar and drums...not your taste?
Whatever. I like it.
I can truly worship God this way.
The songs easily help me express my feelings to God.
I honor Him with the words, my voice blended with the others.
I'm sure the angels in heaven have joined in.
I am caught up in His praises.
Time to pray.
We sit.
And then...WAIT! NO! (This is where it gets embarrassing!!!)
It rarely happens, but they are bringing out the heavy artillery...
Miss Brigitte leads them out in an orderly line.
Okay, a semi-orderly line.
A DISORDERLY line.
Tanya has managed to drop her lanyard/nametag and when she stopped to pick it up, the others continued walking, crashing into each other one by one like a Three Stooges act.
The congregation snickers, trying not to laugh too loud.
Miss Brigitte gets control of the situation and the children are soon ready to begin.
It doesn't matter that they do not sound like professional singers, like the worship band before them.
It doesn't matter that the actions that accompany the words they are singing are simple and repetitive and not synchronized very well.
You can tell they have practiced many times to get things right, and yet there is something very genuine about their melody as they open their cherub mouths and sing:

It's not just about the manger
Where the baby lay
It's not all about the angels
Who sang for him that day

It's not just about the shepherds
Or the bright and shining star
It's not all about the wisemen
Who travelled from afar

Chorus:
It's about the cross
It's about my sin
It's about how Jesus came to be born once
So that we could be born again

It's about the stone
That was rolled away
So that you and I could have real life someday

It's about the cross
It's about the cross...
With each verse they sing, I get more choked up. Why does this happen to me? I knew it would as soon as the children stepped out. It happens almost every time I see the children at our church perform. Do I have children? Sure! But they're TEENAGERS! They aren't in the production! I continue to beg tissue off the lady next to me and ignore the concerned looks from my family. (What is wrong with her? Perhaps she's ill...)
*****
Later, I try to figure it out. What is wrong with me? Now, I know this would be no big deal for most of you. But, I am NOT a crier. At all. I used to be...when my kids were little. Any sweet thing they did - WAAAAAAAA! And when I was PREGNANT - well, Hallmark commercials put me over the edge! But, I'm not that woman anymore. I'm not sure why...there's nothing wrong with it. In fact, when counseling with women, I encourage them to cry..."Let it all out." 
I guess I just cried all my tears out.
Unless children sing at my church.
Seriously.
Then it hit me! God spoke to me through His Word:
Matthew 18:2-4 (ESV) says:
^"2 And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them ³ and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. ⁴ Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

Jesus was talking about the pure faith of a child that listens and obeys - that comes when they're called, that believes Jesus when He speaks. Children trust Him.
I did make one observation while blabbering into my Kleenex, listening to those children sing. I wasn't the only one dabbing at their eyes with a tissue. There were others. Mostly older folks. (I refuse to acknowledge that I may belong to that group.) Old can mean wise. We could sense something spiritual.
Those children up there singing? They have genuine faith. They really believe what they are singing. Those of us listening don't question that. We can see it on their faces. We know the kids their age just - believe without questioning...yet. Kids don't pretend yet. They aren't fake in spiritual things.

We are.

And it's so beautiful it can melt a heart of stone and make a grown woman cry. :)
Beautiful.

Took the Opportunity

The ceramic fish gurgles when I pour my pomegranate iced tea from it and we giggle like school girls. We love that pitcher. I think we come here for the pitcher itself.
No, not true. I usually don't have the opportunity to be here.
But, every once in a while I can turn a blind eye to my long list of chores,
if my schedule is free of appointments
and meetings
and I'm feeling healthy enough
and naughty enough to ignore all of things I know I should be doing
instead of being here.
The opportunity never really presents itself.
But sometimes I find it anyway.

And we find ourselves here.
When he's at work;
and they're at school.
I can squeeze the time out of my day
and the opportunity sometimes drips out, too.

And she can usually talk me into it if I hesitate at all.
I tell her she's a bad influence and she laughs, like I just told her she was a beauty queen.
And that makes me laugh.
And I throw the laundry in the spare room and hope nobody notices.
I grab my coat, along with the opportunity and head out the door.

And we find ourselves here, with the fish pitcher of iced tea
and "Grown Up Grilled Cheese" with Havarti and Granny Smith Apples and honey between home made whole wheat bread.
They are all the frosting on the cake - Limoncello Mascarpone Cake, to be specific...two forks, please!
We jump on the opportunity to finish the piece of cake - together!

She knows me as well as I know her. Our secrets are safe, shared over a secret lunch.
Slow service...but, no matter. That's why we go here - besides the great food. And the pitcher.
She is never shocked at my true confessions. I have supported her through everything she's weathered.
The opportunity to bare our souls, belly laugh and tell our secrets means the world to us both. Sometimes serious, and sometimes so goofy that it may look like we are having a liquid lunch...but neither of us drink.

We hurry home before school is out and husbands return home. We scurry to make up for lost time, vacuuming and ironing, throwing a meal together and straightening the house. Maybe the opportunity to lunch with a friend wasn't what you would have chosen with all of this work to do...but, a woman's work is never done. It may have not been handed to me...but I TOOK IT anyway! Hah!

Stories of The Dead

Everyone has a story – especially dead somebodies who can’t contradict what you make up about them!

We’re on vacation on the East Coast, and are now on our four-day trek home. I’ve never been to this part of the country. We were on Mount Desert Island in Maine. Beautiful! Now, as we drive on through the little towns in Maine, and then New Hampshire and soon we’ll  be in Massachusetts (this is a different route than the one we took here – we came through Canada), I look at the scenery. Beautiful!

Now I was never a history whiz in high school, but history interests me now…when I know the stories that go along with the facts. After all, I’m a story-teller at heart. Every so often, we pass a graveyard and my interest piques. They are not like the cemeteries we have at home. I’m sure they don;t’ have the same regulations concerning burial, because there were some graveyards that only had a few headstones in people’s back yards! (My dad’s funeral a few years ago cost an obscene amount of money for plot, regulation-approved casket, service, etc.!)

These graveyards are smaller than the cemeteries in my neck of the woods, cropping up every few miles alongside the road, or like I said – in a backyard. And some of the headstones are ornate. I can tell many of them are really old! I’m sure they must have clever (or maybe mysterious?) inscriptions. Some dates may be over a hundred years old, considering the age of these states!  I have asked Mike if we could stop several times so I could meander through one or two. “What for?” He asks. “Because there are so many STORIES, Mike!” (I could almost HEAR him think, “How long will THIS caper take her???? Nah – we haven’t the time!”) You can guess that we haven’t stopped yet…but I’m not through trying… ;)

What I Learned On My Summer Vacation

I wrote this on our trip to Maine this summer and saved it to Word with the intention of sharing this with you. I had so much fun there! Lots has happened since then that I want to tell you. My life is crazy right now but I have good intentions of getting back into this world of blogging. Maybe I'll be better at following through! At the moment I am taking an evening college theology course, working a 3 1/2 week temporary full time job to help out a friend and running a nonprofit that is expanding its territory across the nation, while directing a chapter of my Bible study here in my hometown. It's crazy-busy!!! But, I miss you guys.

This vacation was a hoot, though...before all of this activity. A total hoot! Here's my "term paper" LOL:

My family and I recently spent time together vacationing at Acadia National Park…a delightful park making up a large portion of Mount Desert Island, Maine. Besides the fact that I’d NEVER been that far Northeast so the whole “harbor town” and “lobster 24/7” was new to me, I managed to learn a few things while we were camping.

I learned to let myself be old. Oh, I know that’s socially incorrect,(old=bad, right?) but with vacationing comes an attitude – a relaxed “Who cares?” kind of attitude…and it’s a good thing that this attitude had permeated my system by the time I woke up old. Yes, you read that right. There aren’t a lot of mirrors around when you’re camping in a tent (Hallelujah!), so this may have happened sooner, but a few days into our trip we were on a dock in Bar Harbor (Baa Hah Buh to the Eastern locals) watching the lobstermen empty their traps. I slipped into the public restroom at the end of the dock, and while washing my hands, I glanced at my reflection….YIKES!!!! No, not because I was such a fright! (hmph!) I had sun spots (albeit, age spots) on both sides of my face. Let me rephrase that…I had sun spots that had huddled so close together that they were almost two blotches with a few flesh colored holes that covered each cheek. No joking. Being in the vacationing frame of mind, I shrugged my shoulders and thought that I’d have to purchase the fade cream I had heard about but never needed. Hmmm….

I learned to let myself be young. Okay, I always let myself act this way. ;) But, we did a whole lot of playing as a family. Gosh, I really fall in love with my husband and children all over again when we get this time to play together and see them at their playful best!

I learned that some people are drawn to me and my personality. I don’t say this to sound arrogant. You’re probably the same way if you’re outgoing. J My husband was always amazed at how long I took every morning in the bathroom facilities, but almost EVERY MORNING Bridgette and I would meet an interesting woman from a different state or province of Canada and get to talking or meet up with somebody we had met previously and catch up! And, when we’d go to other places…the same thing; what is it about women and bathrooms that makes it so easy to chat?

I learned that not everybody is drawn to me and my personality. Again, I don’t say this to sound arrogant. I always knew that not everyone loves me. I get it. I was just REMINDED. ;) I've previously told you in other posts throughout the years that I was a storyteller. I have a voracious love of reading, extreme-amateur photography, and listening to music. So, I always have some kind of story idea, photo op or song playing in my head at all times. (It’s pretty noisy in this head of mine!) Actually, I usually have one particular song playing in my head. Mostly, because my kids found out I was singing it one day and thought it was such a stupid/funny song from the past (“That’s Not MyName” by the Ting Tings). Actually, it’s one my friend Cathy always chants. But, it’s contagious. So…I was making breakfast at camp on our camp stove, cracking eggs, oven mitt on…and, of course when I saw my kids watching me bee-bop to the song in my head and grinning, I had to put on worthy performance (that always gets me in trouble, btw…).

I started singing into my spatula like a microphone, changing the lyrics to pertain to me:

“They call me her,

They call me Pinky…

That’s not my name, That’s not my name…

They call me Momma, they call me P-Dog “

(NOTE: our friend Bart was a youth pastor and thought it was funny to call me P-Dog instead of Pennie)

“That’s not my name, That’s not my name…”

Well, the kids were ROFL as I vine stepped into my hubby, who  I didn’t hear walk up behind me (He is never as impressed with this immature side of me as the kids are…. Sigh.)

And then he reminded me that it was EARLY in the morning and that “P-Dog should keep it down until the neighboring campers are up.”

Oh, yeah. He was totally right.

Oops!!!!

I learned that things aren't always what them seem...some even make a great story! Okay….guilty on this one, too…I’ve known this for quite a while. Travelling with my family is enjoyable. We’re a fun group. I guess I am voted Queen Clown.

There were no showers at the campground we stayed at. (I hate that!) So, we had to find a pay-to-shower place. (All National Parks have some place like that real close to their exit to make a few bucks, it seems.) The showers were little (I do mean LITTLE) rooms with a shower & changing area, and place to put your toiletries and of course the slots for the quarters! ($2 for 4 minutes/10 gallons of hot water….amazing , but 4 minutes does the trick!)  The showers were co-ed, which didn’t bother me because they were all their own separate stalls. After I showered , I brought my stuff to this little room where Mike and this other person (couldn’t tell if the person was a teenage boy or girl?) were preening in front of the sinks and mirror/counter. Mike and I conversed a little while he finished his shaving and then just when I was going to take his spot (there was only room for two at the mirrors), Aaron swooped right in, from out of nowhere, and took my spot!!!

I looked at my pretentious little teenager and said, “Aaron!”

Mike told Aaron that I had been waiting for that spot and it wasn’t very nice to muscle me out like that.

Aaron looked kind of patronizingly at me and said, “Well, Mom, this IS the Men’s Room!”

The boy (now I knew it was a teenage BOY!) next to Aaron looked at me, eye to eye. *Gulp!*

I grabbed my stuff, and laughing, ran out of the “little room” that I did see was clearly marked “Men’s Room.”

I ran into the Women’s Room and plopped my stuff next to Bridgette, laughing.

Seeing me laughing with a twinkle in my eye, she asked “What did you do?”

Laughing, I told her…and the lady from Australia next to her listened in….

….and we took WAY TOO LONG having a jolly old time: Bridgette, me and our new friend from Australia….in the Women’s Room.

Let me tell you ladies, it’s way more fun in the Women’s Room than the Men’s!

(That’s probably the main lesson I learned on my summer  vacation.)

Bwahahaahahhahhahhahahaha….Funny, but true!!!

And, of course, we took an obscenely (no pun intended) long time in the ladies room because we were chatting with our new friend, and our boys were waiting in the parking lot. And when we got to the car Mike looked at me and said, "So, you took awfully long in there? Who did you meet this time?" And, with a twinkle in his eye he said, "You didn't go back in the men's room to meet more friends, did you?"

What a brat!

Little Surprises

Aaron and Bridgette are close in age - just a little over a year apart. I love that they're so close in age. Well, I haven't ALWAYS loved it. It was a tad difficult when I brought Bridge home from the hospital and a little one-year-old was bent out of shape because this crying heap of flesh was getting all his attention. We decided to tell him that she was his little princess. (After all, I was Mike's princess. It made sense...kind of.) Aaron took that to heart. When they were toddlers and I took them to the park, Aaron's much more social sister would attract alot of attention from the other kids while her shy brother hid in the shadows. He'd only stand for that for so long, and then he'd appear and physically remove her to where he was playing and his princess was claimed and she would happily accept the role as his playmate. It was somewhat amusing to watch. She never seemed to mind.
As they grew older, they did not suffer from sibling rivalry. This was, in part, due to their different genders. Aaron is every bit a boy as much as Bridgette is a girl. Aaron was shy, and Bridgette was social so she would speak for him in social situations. I'm not sure this was the healthiest thing, as he is still a quiet boy at sixteen. (But, his friends are mostly outgoing and seem to speak up for him when needed...when his sister doesn't...) Aaron is very technically minded and Bridgette is - ummm...not. So, she has dubbed Aaron the fixer and programmer of all of her electronics and he steps in and saves the day often when things go awry in her digital world. They balance each other out quite nicely. They would do well to marry somebody like the other.
In fact, just recently, Bridgette has been invited into Aaron's large circle of friends. It all works out because there are quite a few girls in Aaron's group and they all adore Bridgette...and me! :) Just today Aaron called to ask if the whole gang could come home with him and Bridgette for the rest of the day. Since it was about 2pm on Memorial Day, I figured that meant we were having a party after all! You see, Mike is in Canada and I was feeling LONELY! My kiddos left to go swimming with their mutual gang of friends in the waterfalls at the state park near our home. I was kicking myself because I hadn't planned ahead and invited friends over for a picnic. What was I thinking???? Aaron is an EXCELLENT burger griller...so, he brought a couple boys and girls home and I got to entertain. I just love doing that! These kids are the BEST! Burgers, Mountain Dew, X-Box and cupcakes! AND...all the girls love to hang out with ME! And, my son loves that because he's got his eye on ONE special girl who loves to hang out here with us! She happens to be the one who invited Bridgette to be in their group of friends. And so we're back to the beginning.
Aaron and Bridgette are helping each other out. Bridgette loves Aaron's friends and they love her...and Aaron appreciates that her social skills are keeping all the right kind of girls around. :)
This is a really fun age and these are really fun kids to be the mom of. I am having such a fun time.
And their friends? They're ALL great kids! I want to adopt all of 'em!

The Down Side of The Sunny Side

I make no secret out of the fact that I'm a Christian on this blog. I'm a women's ministry leader. I have a greater responsibility to behave Christ-like. But this is also MY blog. This is my place to let my hair down and say what I need to say. And, I make no secret out of the fact that while I am a Christian, and a ministry leader...I am also human.
Man, have I been human lately.
Maybe not on the outside, but definitely in my head.
And in my heart.
God and I have been having quite a few talks that I never imagined I'd be having with Him.
But, again...I am human.
Many of you have walked through my health struggles with me. Remember two years ago, when I didn't know what was going on and I found out I had M.S?
I had some pretty serious things going on in those first few months: numbness, pain, confusion, fear.
All the tests and medication. You read about how I was afraid to give myself an injection a week, only to find that the lesions in my brain kept growing and I had to beef it up to three injections a week.
I thought it was the end of the world...
...for about a week.
Now it's old hat.
Same thing when I had to start using a catheter 3x/day.
No big deal now.
And they make a med for every other symptom - fatigue, depression, and the rest...it's all doable.
And you cheered me on and said you marvelled at my positive attitude.
I have always been a glass-half-full kind of girl.
My dad used to call me his sunshine girl.
My friend Heather calls me "Sunshine" even now.
I usually have a smile on my face and try to see the positive side of things.
It's the way I'm wired.
And, I believe it's Scriptural.
(But, seeing that it's my disposition makes it WAY easier for me than for those who are moodier, by nature. I don't do drama.)
Which brings me to one of the things God has been speaking to me about lately.
My sunny side.
Yes, you read that right.
My sunny side turns sour when those who are going through trials refuse to look at the brightness.
Somebody close to me has recently been diagnosed with a health problem. Not anything that can't be treated or lifelong like M.S., but serious enough.
This was my chance to be there for them! (They were there for me in my health crisis.)
I was there to listen to their symptoms...which they didn't disclose as freely as I'd hoped they would. (So, I had to outright ask and do a little detective work.)
I offered to go to their appointment with them. ("No thanks." Okay...I get that. We're different personalities.)
When they WERE diagnosed (with the diagnosis I predicted - thank you very much - and btw I did not say I told you so - never said a word), I did behind the scenes research on the meds they were prescribed so that they were able to have the info they needed to combat the side effects, which has helped considerably.
Another friend has been struggling with health issues less severe. Both these cases have driven these people to react with less-than-glass-half-full attitudes. For VERY LONG periods of time so far...almost constantly.
At first, I reacted in a way that SO EMPATHETIC and SO COMPASSIONATE!!! You would have been proud. BUT...after a while - it's like I reached my glass-half-full threshold. 
I continue to try to look sympathetic, while my heart is chanting, "Buck up, Buttercup!"
...maybe because that is what I tell myself in those situations when my health problems seem overwhelming...and it works!
But, when I see others who faint when things are minutely trying, it is frustrating to me.
I am learning mercy.
Scratch that.
I am TRYING to learn mercy better. Compassion...on a different level. Understanding instead of knowing.
Dang, it's difficult.
I am responsible for not only a godly reaction, but actually my HEART. Do you realize how difficult it is to control your heart? That's why I had to involve God. I can't do this.
I never saw myself like this before. It's a whole different view of myself.
But, I've been this way all along.
God just let me see a different view in the mirror.
...that's what we've been discussing lately.
Sunshine got a little butt whippin'.
It's really shocking to realize you're not who you thought you were.

Bringing You Up To Speed

I feel like I've lived a hundred lifetimes in the past few weeks. Have you ever had seasons like that? My springtimes usually take on that flavor. Everyone talks about the hustle and bustle of Christmas and the holidays. Sure, there are extra things to do, but springtime always throws me. I kind of get the springtime blues for some reason. It's not that I don't keep busy...there's plenty of busy-work to keep me running around...I won't bore you with the list of activities to prove my point, but springtime is the precursor to the summer. And whoever labeled summer "The Lazy Days of Summer" obviously wasn't one of my family members! We have almost every weekend filled up through August already...and many of the weekdays. Every two or three years Mike and I intentionally get a hold on the madness that our summers become and we purposely block off certain weekends. We didn't get to our planners in time this year. Life took over.

I'm trying to approach it all with a good attitude, though. I know, heading into this break-neck pace that organization is going to be really important. I've travelled this road before. So, I'm going to try to devote a week to each room and concentrate on the organization of that room - closets, drawers - EVERYTHING...I'm going to try to get this place ship-shape and get this fam working like clock-work!

How is your spring shaping up? What are your best spring cleaning tips? And what are your plans this summer?